Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Dear Diary 6

On to my next Dear Diary entry. If you missed the Diary of a With It Kid entries, see my aspirations here, puke entry here, and fourth grade entry here,how Anne Frank helped my love life here and the ups and downs of a short lived junior high romance.

Next is an excerpt from eighth grade. The top of the junior high food chain yet still in the throes of hormonal angst. Read on about the short (yet - omg - so important!) relationships of middle graders. Some names have been changed to protect the not so innocent. Middle grade writers take note.

November 17
Howdy! Apparently my diary was made in Texas. I just figured out how long I went out with people. Chase I went out with for 2 months and 2 days. Logan 2 months and 14 days. Mike 1 month 21 days. Todd 3-4 days. That was Dear Diary 5. And Aidan 6-7 days!
Oh yeah, from October 19 to October 25. At the dance I went out with Aidan. The following weekend we went bike riding around his dad's and my neighborhood. You know he could be really sweet. Well, that Thursday he broke up over the phone. Poor Kelly, third time in a row being the dumpee. But at least he had the gonads to break the news himself! He tried and tried to explain why. He said our relationship was like him holding a chocolate cake. He liked the cake, but he was always afraid he'd drop it and ruin it. I was crying when I was talking to him and you know what he said before I hung up - I love you! A couple of times! I go, Yeah, sure. How could he say that after he broke up! Even the next day I go to him - Do you still love me? BOLD girl! He goes, Yeah! We still talk a lot so we're still good friends. I guess I like Ryan or Todd again. I don't know though. I guess I miss liking Aidan or something. I think he likes Wendy now. 4th hour Mike said, "I wish Aidan still liked you instead of a slut like Winnie." I laughed. Mike is one of my good friends now. But I guess I still like Aidan. I guess I always will. Or not.

This post was way before Forrest Gump's "Life is like a box of chocolates." Aidan you were on to something! A relationship with Kelly is like a teetering chocolate cake!

Now tell me a funny or different way you were dumped, and we'll all compare notes!


DEZMOND said...

Believe it or not, I've never been dumped in my life :)
Aidan sounds like a nice chap :)

Kelly said...

Dezz- Seriously?! I just figured everyone had been dumped at one time or another. Sheesh. Must be nice! :)

Stina Lindenblatt said...

The chocolate cake line was the ultimate. Wonder how many other girls he used it on after that.

I didn't date much so I wasn't dumped much. I just didn't call back and vice versa. Obviously they weren't meaningful relationships to begin with. ;)

Laura Pauling said...

Talk about abstract! That's where the girl thinks 'oh that's so sweet' and then later thinks 'what the heck did that mean?'

storyqueen said...

I am laughing so hard at the chocolate cake! Afraid he will drop it??? Wha???

I love that you are sharing these.


Kelly said...

Stina- In college, there was the never call back or never was called back definitely! The easy (or coward's) way out!
Laura - Though, I'm glad he compared me to a chocolate cake instead of say, a sub sandwich or something!
Shelley- I do remember how confused I was at the time. And sad. But just for a day or two! :)

Cynthia Chapman Willis said...

Kelly, this is so cute and hilarious. I'm pretty sure I've never been compared to chocolate cake while being dumped, maybe because my ex's usually just disappeared (poof!). I don't remember any face to face drama unless I was doing the dumping (which always felt horrible and somehow worse). Thanks for this!

Anita said...

KELLY: These are so freakin hilarious. So, so, so funny!

Christina Lee said...

" Apparently my diary was made in Texas" ->SNORT!

Hilarious! Kepp 'em coming!

Kelly said...

Cynthia - I do think doing the dumping could be as or more stressful!!
Anita - I don't think I was amused writing it, but it definitely amuses me now!
Christina - Hee! I think I just have a couple more entries I'll post. Many are so boring!

Lydia K said...

Umm, I've never been dumped either. Maybe Dezz and I can "dump" each other so we don't stick out.

I love these entries! More, please. They are too fun too read.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Ah, teen angst! Crap, it's been so long, I don't remember.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Oh, my gosh, your commentary with your diary entry cracked me up!

I didn't date much. But I remember breaking up with my boyfriend in college very dramatically. I got out of the car and slammed the door so hard my mom said her chandlier shook. LOL

Pk Hrezo said...

How funny! I read my old diaries once a few years ago.... so funny. I think I had a relationshp that lasted about a week. He asked me to "go with him" during history class. lol He was my first kiss too... at the skating rink. Oh yeah.

Theresa Milstein said...

Every time I read your diary posts, I regret not keeping daily entries of my teen years. Then again, I didn't get much action. How many boys are listed in this one post?

Though I dated less, I think I did all the breaking up. Too intense for me.

Kelly said...

Lydia, Lydia, Lydia - Seriously? Now I feel bad I was dumped three times in a row! :)
Alex - And that is why I check my diary!
Jennifer - I bet that got the guy on his way and fast!
Pk- It's funny how middle graders are so in love but then move on quickly to the next person they crush on!
Theresa - I was boy crazy!!!!

Kim Kasch said...

Oh it was a BOLD move to keep a diary in my house. My brother found mine and read it out loud as he walked around the house when Mom and Dad were gone. YIKES! I was sooooo embarassed.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Chocolate cake? Ha ha ha! That is the best (though not at the time, I know). :-)

Lola Sharp said...

I love when you do this series. :) You were so cute...and you still are. *hugs*

Honestly, I've always been the dumper...never the dumpee. I've never been dumped.

And, I love chocolate cake...teetering or not.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend, Kelly.


Suzanne Casamento said...

I can't believe so many bloggers have never been dumped! I've made an artform out of it.

Just recently, (at 39!) the guy I was seeing disappeared on me.

It never ends. ;)

Jo Schaffer said...

Hahah! My diary from Jr. High is a total cringe fest now. Hahah!

Tina Laurel Lee said...

The chocolate cake is awesome. As is the total confusion. The who likes who and why the break up when there is both chocolate cake and love on the table. Oh my.

And go you and J! I read about your deadline today! As awesome a chocolate cake.

Keri Mikulski said...

Oh my gosh... I love it that you have these diary entries. So cool. :) Thanks for sharing.

Elana Johnson said...

Holy cow. Eighth grade. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

And I didn't date until like, senior year. Me = loser.

Susan Fields said...

I'm so glad you posted more of your diary - I just love reading these!

That chocolate cake explanation has to be one of the funniest break-up reasons I've ever heard - quite the creative boy!

Marisa Hopkins said...

"I guess I always will"

Bwahahahaha. I was 100% convinced I'd love my crush till the day I die. Granted, I crushed on him from age 12 to age 18 almost exclusively. We're friends on FB now... he's not even cute anymore. :D And he's WEIRD now, but not in a cool, funky way. In a creepy way.

I seriously love these posts, Kelly!!!

Rena said...

I love it.

I've only been dumped once, but ironically I was going to end the so-called 'relationship' with him the same day. We were in junior high and lived really far apart. Kind of hard to 'date' like that when neither of drove yet. Oh well. It was for the best. ;)

Missed Periods said...

At first I was really impressed that Aidan broke up with you via metaphor, but then I stopped to think about the metaphor, and I have to wonder why he was so afraid of dropping chocolate cake.

Hema P. said...

Hahaha... and I thought the life of a butterfly was ephemeral :-).

salarsenッ said... like holding a chocolate cake... At first, I wasn't sure where you were going with that. LOL That was great. I've seen you a million times around the blogosphere and have never connected. Well, I'm following you now. Looking forward to getting to know you.

Kelly said...

Kim- I have to admit I snuck a peek at my sister's!
Shannon- Luckily it did not ruin my love for chocolate cake.
Lola - I am shocked at how many have never been dumped! Sheesh! :)And I still love chocolate cake too!
Suz - I was shocked too. I seriously assumed it's happened to everyone!
Jo - Better for us to read an excerpt! ;)
Tina - I shall make a chocolate cake if Jon and I reach our goal.!
Keri - Thanks! Good to see you!!
Elana - I would say you are either smarter or a late bloomer!
Susan - Definitely not the ordinary break up bit!
Marisa - That is one long crush!
Rena - Hee! That would be hard to have a jr. high love in different schools!
Missed P - I think he was probably clumsy. :)
Hema - Hee!
Sara - Hi and thanks for stopping by!

Anonymous said...

Nothing special. Just not showing up about tells me everything I need to know. Obviously they had something more important to do. No worries. I land on my feet again rather quickly.

Christina Farley said...

Chocolate cake is always a good excuse for anything. Cute dear diary entry!

Samantha Vérant said...

I love how this jumps to oh well, I like Ryan...or Todd. And Aidan dumped you for sluttie Winnie??? The doofus.

And, Kelly, you are like chocolate cake! But homemade, not the store-bought kind...